October 2005


I was on a train to Warsaw yesterday evening and I went to the bar to eat something. There was not much to choose from on the train buffet’s menu, so I ordered a chicken fillet and sat waiting for it to be prepared. The train wobbled and jumped as it moved ahead, as fast as old carriages and tracks allowed. Since it was already dark there was not much to see out of the window so I looked around the carriage. There was an artificial, 40-something blonde sitting by the next table, her back on me, reading fashion magazines. There was a bespectacled, sweeter wearing man with grayish hair, eating a soup two tables away. He looked English to my eye, but such appearances are misleading.

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The time whirls around me, the days pass in a blink of an eye, weeks in a heartbeat. I succumb to that whirl willingly. It powers me, feeds me with energy, enthusiasm even, that I missed for a long time. It’s my work of course – nothing really world changing, nothing worth noting in history books – or even Wikipedia – it’s just managing the technical side of a telco startup. But this role is so well matched to my character, my aspirations, my knowledge, my skills that it motivates me in a way money itself couldn’t. It gives me a chance to work with people that I like and, for the most part, get along with very well. And it allows me to grow – I can feel as I grow each weak, I can see the stream of shining emptiness I call “me” mold and adapt, expanding and changing as I go through time.

With this all I just can’t help but wonder how this wave of good karma came to me, what seeds did I plant deep down in my past that bring this good results?

When recently someone asked me where I’m from I jokingly answered that I’m from the railway. In fact, for the last four weeks I was on a train almost every other day and for at least 10 hours each week. I was a bit skeptical at first and I’m still worried about the winter (with snow and freezing cold I don’t really enjoy being outside) but I begun to appreciate and value those hours I spend in railway carriages. It turned out pretty quickly that on this job those are really my quiet desk hours – time for writing e-mails and conceptualizing which I don’t get enough otherwise. No one comes to disturb, somehow few people do call then and my ugly HP laptop can run for about three hours on the batteries, which is really enough for most cases.

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Yes, I have a new job, and it’s so intensive that during the week I’ve barely time to skim through my private e-mail. My blog has been hit hard as a result and I’m afraid it would be updated about once a week in the near future. Thanks for your kind comments and wishes, they really made a difference for me.

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