Thu 25 May 2006
It wasn’t the best of days… I’m really tired after last week with no weekend and quite frankly I don’t work at full power right now. I don’t feel good physically, I had a sudden and strong catarrh today – I used a few packages of kleenex since morning, which begun rather late BTW – after another night when I had trouble getting into bed early enough to be rested in the morning. All that after yesterday, which was very good but ended rather sadly, my sense of optimistic well being first disturbed by a minor incident of being ignored by someone then seriously hit by a major problem developing in my latest plan for the future.
I won’t get into details here, but it seems like I endangered something in my life by concentrating too much on the work. Work that I like, but I don’t feel it really leads me to where I would like to get in the end – on the contrary, with every passing day it binds more and more to this place. And where recently I’m not even sure my efforts are indeed appreciated or noticed, especially since the welter of corporate politics I thought I escaped from three years ago appeared again on the horizon.
All in all I think my ego needs some stroking, but there is no one to soothe it. But, in the end, there is also no one to soothe. So, it will just pass…